The Art of a Healthy Breakup

I know we can all relate to experiencing the 'breakup'. There are books, movies, songs and even t-shirts out there to remind us of this almost inevitable part of life. Go check Twitter or Facebook right now and I bet you will find someone dogging out an ex. Heck, I'm even guilty of said action. But, who says that a breakup should be the most painful thing you go through. Relationships are hard work. We all know this. In the infamous words of Rob Base (whoa, I just dated myself) it takes two to make a thing go right. But, it can take just one of you to make it go incredibly wrong! And for whatever reason, when that happens, you must make the decision to try and work things out or K.I.M: Keep It Moving!

Shit happens. It's all about how you handle the 'shit' that will make you a better person in the end. So, here are some tips to help you save face and deal with the emotional rollercoaster of a breakup in a health way:

1. NO 'PLEASE, BABY BABY, PULEASE!'

Don't beg. It's so not what's hot. Begging leads to borderline psychotic behavior that will ONLY confirm to your ex that he/she made the right decision in breaking up with your crazy, begging ASS!

2. HE BROKE UP WITH ME ON A POST-IT?

One of my favorite episodes of Sex and The City was when Burger broke up with Carrie via a post-it! Wackness, huh? Breakups are best done in person. Don't TEXT, TWEET, UPDATE YOUR FB STATUS, BBM, EMAIL...and damn sure don't write it on a post-it! Being able to communicate your feelings face-to-face is important. It shows your maturity and courtesy about the situation.

3. AVOID PUBLIC PLACES

A friend told me a story of how she broke up with her man at the club. MAJOR NO-NO! They were side-eyeing each other all night, trying to make each other jealous. I even think she mentioned something about a drink being thrown....GEESH! Avoid breaking up in a public place because you don't want it to get that 'out-of-control'. A breakup can provoke all sorts of messy emotions that are best handled in a more intimate setting.

4. DON'T ANSWER THAT BOOTY CALL!

I know I'm preaching to someone with this one. Simply don't engage in the post-breakup booty call. To me, this is perhaps the unhealthiest thing you could do to yourself when dealing with the aftermath of a breakup. The relationship is over. Dunzo. Kaput. Obviously the sex wasn't enough to keep you in the relationship, so why continue to go there? Sex with your ex will confuse things. You've been warned...so BEWARE.

5. REVENGE SHOULD ONLY BE FOR NERDS

Revenge brings out the three D's: deceit, deception and dirt. Those are NOT good looks. We've all seen Maury. Remember the one with the chick who slept with her ex's brother, cousin and father and she wanted Maury to help her find her baby daddy???? Right. That episode. I mean, c'mon son! Don't put yourself through it!

and FINALLY...

6. THERE'S LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL...

You've heard all the sayings. Joy cometh in the morning. What doesn't kill you will only make you stronger. I'm a survivor, I'm gonna make it. Surviving a breakup will build your character and make you a stronger person. You will learn more about yourself and be able to better decipher when shit ain't right in the future. A breakup doesn't have to be the end of everything...it should be the beginning of a HEALTHIER YOU!

And, there is NOTHING like running into an ex when this song is playing in the background:

Get it' Letoya!

Good luck getting through your breakups. Present, past, and future. Drop me a few lines if you have any other advice to offer. I'd love to read your comments.

Sleepless in Beantown