How to Break The 'Sex with Your Ex' Curse

Picture your last relationship. Better yet...picture how it ended. Chances are it wasn't a good split. Things probably got real messy...hurtful words were said and vengeful actions were probably taken. We usually don't end relationships because things are going great, right? So if you know that your last relationship was jacked up...WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR EX?

Here is an email that came into my inbox the other day...

Dear Sleepless in Beantown,

My ex and I have been sexing on the low for the past six months. Neither of us has moved on although I have been casually involved with other men and I'm sure he's also dating. Basically, I know that EVERY time I go back to him it is wrong. However, the sex is crazy good and I'm not ready to deny myself of him. How do I break this off...sex and all? Please help!

Signed,
The Girl Still Sexing Her Ex


Here's my advice: NEVER HAVE SEX WITH AN EX. It is emotionally dangerous on soooo many levels. Trust me, I know. We won't get into how I know. But, I do.

Battle Scars are Still Fresh

First off, by sleeping with an ex, you are re-opening the flood gates. All of those emotions that you felt when you were in that relationship will return. Those wounds haven't healed and will never heal if you continue to have sex.

Don't Get it Twisted....Things Haven't Changed

Sex with the ex tends to make us get amnesia and we forget about why we are no longer with that person. Chances are things have not changed much and those problems that you had are still lingering.

Don't Assume Your The Only One

Unless your motives are purely physical, one of the biggest misconceptions when engaging in sex with an ex is that there is a chance you will get back together. If this is your goal, you better make sure that your ex is not involved in another sexual relationship. Once the element of being monogamous disappears, then you are dealing with a health issue. Girl, don't do it to yourself. That's a Maury, Jerry Springer, and Tyra show all wrapped up in one!

The best way to break the 'Sex with Your Ex' curse is to simply move on to someone new. There are plenty of new people out there for you to meet. Make a commitment to respect yourself and slam the door on your past relationship. I know it won't be easy, but it will be worth it in the end!

Guess it's time for me to take a dose of my own medicine. I'll let you know how that works out! (wink, wink!)


Sleepless in Beantown